All The Wrong Places

If you are anything like me, then you have urges. Unexplained sudden urges that threaten to shatter your current existence. Okay, maybe it’s not that serious, but they do threaten to alter the fabric of my life to a certain extent. Whether it’s the urge to buy new workout shoes that will motivate me into becoming a beast so I can do this with my chest, or the urge to move to another state or country because people over there seem like the type I’m less likely to hate.

The fact is that we all have these urges. Usually they occur when we are dissatisfied with our lives. And the bitter truth is that once we act on these urges we find ourselves in the same place we were before. Unhappy. Miserable. Stressed out. As if our life is being played out to the tune of Emotional Attyachar. Of course there is someone reading this thinking, I don’t know about you but the new boots I got for Christmas make me feel like I run the world. However true that maybe for that person, it usually isn’t a lasting feeling. Soon they will have another urge. And then another urge, but the feeling of being content will forever elude them. Why is this? Well from my experience, it’s because we are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. If you are unhappy with yourself, then no matter how many things you accumulate or how many changes you make in your environment you will never be satisfied.

A new pair of headphones to listen to Jinne Mera Dil Luteya won’t make me happy. Priyanka Chopra confessing that it’s me who has her feeling so exotic won’t make me happy. Living in a flat with a view of the London Eye won’t make me happy. Who am I kidding? Of course all these things will make me extremely happy. But the happiness from these things is temporary like Rebecca Black’s career. Only I can make myself truly happy. I’m not saying I tell myself jokes out loud and then laugh at them endlessly. That would be weird. Plus, only actresses in Zee-TV dramas talk to themselves.

While I would never bet against a limitless supply of mango lassi and Priyanka Chopra, I’ve learned that loving myself is the only thing that will keep me permanently happy. The truth is, when we are unhappy with ourselves we tend to dislike the things and people around us. Yet, most of us rather change the things and people around us, because those are easier to change than ourselves. I used to agree with people when they told me, “You don’t have to change, because the right person will love you for who you are.” But the more I thought about it, the more I disagreed. Why would someone love me if I don’t even love myself? If I’m unhappy with myself, then why should someone else be happy with me?

Whether it’s your career, your love life, your body, or something else. If you are unhappy with your current situation the cause is coming from you. Therefore, the cure can only come from you too. And even though some might call me Ajmeri Roop, I don’t know the particular cause of your unhappy situation, so I can’t tell you your cure no matter how much you pay me. What I do know is that when I find myself unhappy it’s not because I don’t own an iPad to watch Koffee with Karan off of, it’s because something about myself is bothering me. Instead of running towards new things, places, or people, I look within myself to find my happiness. Inside each of us is where our true happiness lies. When you love yourself, the things and people you were once running from start to look beautiful again.